MamaCole has had quiet an eventful few months. I know it's not shadow season but it was mine! You see I've been living in survival mode for far too long. I took all my trauma and shoved it super deep. If you don't feel it or acknowledge it, it doesn't exists right?Wrong, so wrong! Along, with the darkness were all kinds of things attached to it. I functioned most of my life in survival mode.
I did what I was supposed to do. I fulfilled the roles of Mom, Wife, Sister , teacher, cook and whatever else I needed to be. I wore masks for each role. I would present myself just like an actor. I would be whatever I needed to be for the situation at hand.
I was also a huge people pleaser! I'd shove my needs off and take care of others. I thought this made me a better Mom or person! NOOOOOOO!!! I was in survival mode. Yes, I'd enjoy life and laugh and joke. But, I was also ALWAYS on alert. For what you ask? So many things....attacks..I was on alert for my family! I lived in fear 24/7.
Fear my kids would be stolen, raped or killed. Fear my husband would cheat on me and leave. Fear our house would burn down while we slept. Fear we would wreck in a horrible accident. I even feared my kids choking while eating. I seriously lived with so much fear. I even constantly judged my parenting. My kids always had to be clean and presentable . My home spotless . I had to do all these things ! If I didn't do these things in my mind I was a horrible mother.
What the actual hell? Do you do this too? I about drove myself nuts with judgement and fear. Along with that I would also self deprecate (neglect). I'd eat once a day, or binge eat.
I am now 56 years old. I have an amazing mentor. I am fully embracing all of my gifts. I'm learning to deal not with the trauma but with the energies and emotions I have because of my trauma. I've had numerous clearings and done so much energy work the past few months.
I am finally coming out of the deep darkness I chose to live in all those years. I do believe it is because part of me didn't feel I deserved the light. It's so hard to explain to someone not familiar with darkness. Sometimes, it's just easier to sit in the dark than fight.
The reason I'm sharing this is ....if you have gifts and are shoving them deep down then your cheating yourself and the world. These gifts are not a curse! God gave them to you for a reason. He needs you to use them for the collective. Please don't be afraid of them! Also, please know if you don't do this in this lifetime then you will have to repeat this lesson! Yep! Over and over, until you embrace your unique light with open arms and share it!!
So, MamaCole is healing and growing. I'm doing readings and yes I talk to those who have crossed over! I know wild as heck but so damn real. It's the most beautiful gift to help someone know without a doubt that heaven is real! Why would I hide this gift when it can bring comfort to so many?
I want to challenge you to embrace yourself ! Just as you are! Stop hiding and be your true authentic self! Remember, no worries if you don't! You will just repeat the lesson until it is learned!
So, this July 4 th why don't you free yourself to be your true authentic self? Come out of the dark and shine that light so the world can see how amazing you are!!!!
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